gdamn/

i blurted out some of what has been bothering me at work recently [to y_ obviously].
+ i lectured the girls again after getting back from the working lunch meeting with our primary clients from george brown.
i just wanted to discuss what the issue might be with y_ and see what his perspective was on the entire situation.
he said it was a lack of confidence on their part but i’m convinced its their lack of initiative in decision making.
+ then in my head, i compared them to me and when i was starting out i wasn’t confident either, but when things needed to get done and if my questions weren’t being answered, i just did whatever it was that i had to do to make a good presentation and have it be on time for the person who had to take it with them.
i think you have to work around what you don’t know because if you just sit there and wait for answers, you’re never going to make the finish line for anything in this industry.
we agreed to have a chat about all of this tomorrow because i wanted to take today to calm down and digest the reality of the situation.
i’m not sure what i’m going to suggest as the solution though- which is probably the most frustrating issue.
y_ always says there is a solution to every problem- but i don’t know what a good solution would be for this.
i’m trying to be patient and stay calm but under pressure and deadlines, i need to have people to work with that i can trust or else i will snap.
oh god and then when we got back to the office, i turned my chair around and said, so how’s the powerpoint doing.
then they both just sat there in silence until k____ finally said ‘uhh i dont know haha’- as though it was funny that they were both so clueless.
clenching my jaw (to avoid having a sporadic rant fest escape my head), i then asked which presentation they were working on, cause i’d like to review it.
then k_____ tells me it was on her desktop and not on the server.
so i told her to drop it into the folder where we normally work from, i open up the powerpoint, and look through it and only ONE elevation had been touched since i left and it looked like crap.
so i started a little discussion [a.k.a. lecture] between the three of us, and just critiqued the quality of the presentation, the elevations, everything. 
i found myself explaining what a powerpoint presentation is and just had to draw the line there and conclude that i didn’t want to deal with this for the remainder of the day and that i was goign to leave it between the two of them to fix all the drawings.
then the phone rang, (keep in mind that previously i implemented a new phone answering system where either j___ or k____ had to pick it up, like receptionists) and they’re both just sat there cadding.
+ i stopped what i was doing and just waited to see if they would answer it.
+ then it rang again and then y_ picked it up.
ohhhhhh maaaan did that ever make me go crazy.
y_ rushes off to another meeting and then the next time another call came into the office, it rang once but no one went for the phone, then after the second ring, i was like “one ring guys, seriously.” , then i picked up the phone and tried to use a normal voice but i think you could tell i was pissed off.
funny enough, it was y_ on the line and he was saying how my discussion with them was impressive and that i dealt with the situation well, and i was like ‘haaa, well ya.. i guess’ and then it was awkward cause i was FUMING inside and we both knew it.

all in all, i’m concerned because i think y_ should be concerned.
i’m becoming less and less convinced that my time with ssg is worth something.
i didn’t go through 4 years of hell to be a babysitter.

what is this

okay i dont like the new wordpress at all.
it took me like 10 minutes just to figure out where to click to post.
i dont like how i have to press shift enter to avoid having double spaces.
nobody double spaces unless its for an essay or something.
seriously what is thisss!!!

in other news, which you might already know, i am going to be the associate manager for ssg architecture in the new year.
meaning, i will get a share of the company.
meaning, if we make a profit from our projects, i will get a cut of the chunk.
meaning, i am going to have a buttload more of responsibilities.

at first when i heard, i wasn’t excited at all.
i’m not really sure i understand how its going to change my role in the office, other than the fact that i will be called an associate.
yt said it will make people automatically respect me and i will have to look and act the part.
so i guess it’s a weird, sort of bittersweet responsibility.
parul said people who get promoted to an “associate” basically means they will become a principle in the company, eventually.
then from principle, people become partners.

woop gemma is here so i am going to quickly load some pictures and then figure out what i am going to do with myself tonight.