jesus christ.

i think i might actually be ’suffering’ at work.
definately definately overwhelmed.
im sick and tired of taking shit for shit that i dont have control over.
there’s a lot that i dont know and i dont feel comfortable being so depended upon.
what are the options right now?

im going to bite the bullet and get this done, and done right but like i mean, i never marketed myself as someone who knows systems integration or as someone who’s managed a project with exteriors.
i said i never had a wall section of my thesis, i said details are the reason i would leave architecture, i said we need someone who can cover my gaps and be my insurance not some temps who do shit work that i end up having to correct later on.
why do i feel like im being ignored and why is it that the other party is giving me the impression that i am at fault here?
if there’s anythign i’ve been doing right, it’s working hard.
and if my working hard isn’t enough than maybe there needs to be an intervention.
because im not going to make sacrifices on my end and take hits for shit that i don’t know and that no one told me to look out for.
the blind can’t lead the blind.

friggin they’ve changed the lights for the third time.
every time they change the lights, i have to source a new light, update the rcp, update the spec package and then break the news to the already pissed of electrical engineer who then has to do another set of calculations etc etc.
and then on the side i have another gagillion other things i need to do/think about and through all this, i’m not getting enough done?

the problem is NOT me, and if i seem like the problem, then both SSG and I need to re-evaluate whether or not im a team member worth keeping around.

i’m doing the best that i can, given the circumstances and if that is not enough, then TELL ME that is not enough and let’s evaluate the situation.

im ripping off the bandaid today, this is the last friggin straw.